Rainbow disaster

Well, I was hoping this weekend to announce our pregnancy but instead I get to announce that our pregnancy is not working out. We were hoping to be able to post our ultrasound picture but the ultrasound on Thursday did not go well. I should have been 9 weeks along but the doctor wasn't able to see anything on the ultrasound. A blood test confirmed that I was pregnant but he wanted me to coming in Saturday morning for another blood test to see if my hormone levels were going up or down. Since it was the weekend I knew I wouldn't get the results until Monday. So, I was looking forward to a great weekend of stressing out about what was going on. My hormone levels were low so it was possible that I just was earlier in the pregnancy than I thought and it was too early to see anything on the ultrasound.

This morning however I started to bleed. I had spotted a little bit all week but this seemed like more. I figured it was pointless and I may as well just skip the blood test today but Bobby convinced me to at least call the doctor's office. I called the answering service and my doctor happened to be on call today. He told me he wanted me to go and do the blood test. So, I went in and did the blood test and he called about an hour later to tell me that my hormone levels have only gone down about 60 points which isn't really enough to confirm that I am having a miscarriage, but if it was a normal pregnancy my hormone levels should have doubled.

So, because of that and because I only bled a little bit this morning then it stopped now he's concerned that I might have an ectopic pregnancy. He told me to rest this weekend and just pay attention to my body. If I feel any sharp pains to go into the hospital immediately. On Monday i'm going to go into the doctor's office again for another blood test and possibly ultrasound to see if it's ectopic and if they can find it. I don't know much about ectopic pregnancies so i'm trying to be positive and hope that my hormone levels will have gone down drastically and he'll be able to diagnose it as a miscarriage.

We are pretty down about the whole thing. We were excited to be pregnant but also scared. This loss less than a year after losing Ellie is really hard. I feel like we've been kicked while we were down. We're pretty discouraged. It felt like such a blessing to be pregnant so soon after trying for only a few months. I felt peace and happiness about. It was wonderful to be able to tell my family on Easter. This sense of dread always hung over me but I always figured it was just nerves from losing Ellie. We will get by. We are doing what we did last time. We went and saw a movie and now Bobby is listening to music and i'm eating some Ben and Jerry's ice cream. Please keep us in your prayers. It's going to take some time for us to be ourselves again. Have patience with us.