Wednesday, November 14, 2012


Didn't do too bad. I consider it a success if I don't have any sweets. I didn't have any sweets yesterday, including hot chocoalte and I didn't have seconds at dinner. I worked yesterday so it was a lot easier to control what I eat. It's so hard when i'm at home and it's so easy to just go grab something to eat. I also notice I don't eat a real meal. I kind of piece eat all day and probably end up eating more than if I just sat down and ate a whoel meal.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012


Didn't do too great today. I guess it could have been worse. I didn't really exercise but I spent most of the day shopping and cleaning. We did go out to lunch but I didn't order a huge meal like I usually do. I think portion control is going to be important for me. We did have hot chocolate when we got home but it is so hard to resist when it's so cold outside. I only did one cup though. I can do it if I limit myself to one cup a day. Other than that I didn't have any sweets:)

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Still at it

I know i've not posted lately but I am still working on my goals. I've lost 8 pounds so far. It's not nearly as much as I wanted to by now. I know it's just going to get harder with the holidays coming. It's also going to be difficult to motivate myself to exercise because my favorite form of exercise is going on a walk with Bobby or with my iPod. Right now it's just too dang cold and there's a few inches of snow outside. That's just going to get worse too. I guess I need some motivation. I'm really down about things right now.
Don't tell Bobby I told you (he never reads my blog) but we are trying to get pregnant again. It was such a hard decision. I'm down right now because I was really hoping we could get pregnant by Christmas, but that's not going to happen, mother nature called yesterday:( We decided to wait to tell even my family this time until we have had a confirmation ultra sound from the doctor. Even if I do get pregnant before Christmas I won't be far enough along for an ultrasound.
Oh well, i'm excited to be off track. Maybe we can still go walking in the cold. We'll just have to bundle up and then i'll get all sweaty under my coat and my face will be freezing. Then we'll get home and Bobby will want to make hot chocolate and i'll drink more calories than I burned off because I could only stand to be out there for 10 minutes!
Bah! I'm making myself more frustrated the longer I think about it. I just need to find a way to re-motivate myself. I can be good until Thanksgiving. Maybe if I can do that then I can let myself have a free day. Now i'm trying not to think too much about the amazing chocolate pie and pecan pie my mom makes!
I'm also going to have to suck it up and either go to the gym or deal with the cold and go on my walk. Well, at least i'm off track for a few weeks. I always find much more time to work out when i'm off track. The problem is controlling the eating. I can do it though. I can make it until next Thursday. I'm just going to keep saying that until it becomes true. Only 10 more days to get through until then. Maybe i'll commit to post every day until then. I will confess what I ate each day and how much I worked out. If I can be good until Thanksgiving I will let myself eat guilt free until Thanksgiving.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Week 4 update

Okay the problem with this morning's weigh-in is that I took a sleeping last night. I was so groggy this morning that I don't remember exactly how much my loss was this morning but i'm pretty sure it was  a little more than 2 pounds. So, i'll just put two to be safe.
I'm pretty happy with that. This last week has been so stressful I was really worried about what my weigh-in was going to be. I don't usually take sleeping pills, I don't like them. But I really needed to. Last week was so stressful I didn't get much sleep. I knew this week wasn't going to be any better so I knew I needed to take something last night to get some good sleep. It really did help. I slept great. I just have a hard time getting up in the mornings. I have a hard time with that anyway so it wasn't really too different.
I am hoping to be a bit more active this week. I ate pretty healthy last week but I didn't work out much. I will do better this week. I already have a walk planned with Bobby tonight.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Week 2 and 3 update

Well, a loss is a loss I guess. Not the best two weeks but seeing as how crazy these two weeks were i'm just happy for the loss. I didn't actually weigh in for week 2 because I was so sick so i'm not sure how it actually worked out but I do know that i'm down a bit from two weeks ago.
I'm back to work now so I expect that it's going to be harder for me to find the time and energy to work out and easier for me to eat better. I eat so much healthier when i'm not at home where all the food is. I make sure to bring healthy food in the morning so that is the only choice I have to eat all day.

Monday, August 27, 2012

Week 1

Down 2.6 pounds! Yay!!!
It's not the 10 pounds I was hoping for but I really didn't think I was going to lose anything so i'm way happy with that. I think my problem is that the TV show The Biggest Loser makes me think I should be able to lose 10 pounds a week.  But what I have to remember is that they have professional trainers and they are working out like all day long and have a kitchen stocked with healthy food. I did great working out last week but my diet still needs some work.
I did my walk Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Tuesday and Thursday I did some strength training and yoga. On Saturdays i'm trying to get Bobby to something fun and active with me. This week he chose to play games on the wii fit. That was pretty fun. I even went on a few walks in the evening with Bobby last week. I found it really easy to be more active.
Eating healthy does not come easy to me. It is so much easier to just grab a burger than it is to stay home and make something healthy. But, we went shopping on Friday and got some healthy stuff so I actually ate much better this weekend. I plan to do much better this week too. As long as I don't make another batch of brownies I should be fine:)
My goal this weeks is another 2.6 pounds.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Weight loss surgery

Bobby and I were talking about weight loss surgery the other day (don't worry he wasn't encouraging me to do it or anything). I've just always felt like if I were to go that route than it meant I was a failure because it meant I couldn't do it on my own. I'm not anywhere close to going that route right now. I think there are many things I haven't tried before I even think about that. I know thought that there are some people that really can't lose weight and have great success with weight loss surgery. How do you guys feel about it?

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Back at it again

I've been sitting here trying to think what to type but all I can say is i'm back at it again. The last few months since the miscarriage have been pretty rough. My mental/emotional state the last few months was not a good state for me. I know physical fitness is important but the last few months my mental fitness has been most important and mentally I don't think I could have handled trying to push myself physically. I hope that makes sense. I am planning to write more about my last few months later today in my other blog, Letters to Ellie.
I am back now to my pre-Ellie weight, which is about 10 pounds more than my post-Ellie weight. Go figure. My first goal is to lose about 30 pounds. I think that's a good starting goal. My doctor did mention that losing even 30 pounds will greatly increase my chances for getting pregnant and having a healthier pregnancy. I have hypertension and I have a history of diabetes in my family. I am terrified of getting diabetes and having gestational diabetes was a bit of a wakeup call for me. It scared me straight. I have made some changes in my life but I have a lot more I can do.
This last week I went to girl's camp and it was made clear to me once again how out of shape I was. We had to go up these stairs every time we came back from the bathroom and it really wasn't that long but I was the only one who had a hard time with it. The first time I did it I thought I was going to die. I couldn't breathe. It got easier the more I did it but it shouldn't have been that hard. I found myself not doing as much with the girls because I was so tired. I thought about what it would be like if I had kids and how bad I would feel if I couldn't run around and play with them.
So, today, my first day off track I went on a walk. I walked for 40 minutes. I have no idea how far it was though. I usually average around a 14-15 minute mile so I figure I went almost 3 miles. I'm going to try to do that same route every day. I haven't decided if i'm going to try to add on distance to the route or if i'm going to try to jog parts of it. At this point I don't really know what is most beneficial for me. I'm also tracking everything I eat on an app I downloaded.
I really appreciate when people want to work out with me but i'm really a solo exerciser. Maybe that will change when i'm fitter but right now I like to figure out on my own what works for me. I like putting my music on and just going by myself. Walking occasionally with Bobby is fine but really I prefer just to go by myself.
That's pretty much all I can think to write about right now. I hope to be better now at updating my blogs. As far as the getting pregnant thing is going, that's really on hold right now. We don't really feel ready to deal with that stress. We don't feel capable of being able to deal with another loss right now and I think we just need some more time before we get going with that. It is getting better. We are way better than we were even a month ago, but not quite there yet. Thanks for all your support everyone!

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Cramps from hell

I don't want to get too graphic here but I'm pretty sure this is just a miscarriage now and not an ectopic pregnancy. I have been bleeding pretty heavily today and this evening had the worst cramps I've ever had in my gotsobad I was doped up and still at a pain level 7 or 8. I have a pretty high tolerance for pain but this was almost more than I could bear. Eventually they did go away and now I'm hoping to get some sleep. We will still go to the doc tomorrow just to make sure everything is okay. My mom is also going to come and visitor a few days. It will be nice to have her around and get some Mother's comfort.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Rainbow disaster

Well, I was hoping this weekend to announce our pregnancy but instead I get to announce that our pregnancy is not working out. We were hoping to be able to post our ultrasound picture but the ultrasound on Thursday did not go well. I should have been 9 weeks along but the doctor wasn't able to see anything on the ultrasound. A blood test confirmed that I was pregnant but he wanted me to coming in Saturday morning for another blood test to see if my hormone levels were going up or down. Since it was the weekend I knew I wouldn't get the results until Monday. So, I was looking forward to a great weekend of stressing out about what was going on. My hormone levels were low so it was possible that I just was earlier in the pregnancy than I thought and it was too early to see anything on the ultrasound.

This morning however I started to bleed. I had spotted a little bit all week but this seemed like more. I figured it was pointless and I may as well just skip the blood test today but Bobby convinced me to at least call the doctor's office. I called the answering service and my doctor happened to be on call today. He told me he wanted me to go and do the blood test. So, I went in and did the blood test and he called about an hour later to tell me that my hormone levels have only gone down about 60 points which isn't really enough to confirm that I am having a miscarriage, but if it was a normal pregnancy my hormone levels should have doubled.

So, because of that and because I only bled a little bit this morning then it stopped now he's concerned that I might have an ectopic pregnancy. He told me to rest this weekend and just pay attention to my body. If I feel any sharp pains to go into the hospital immediately. On Monday i'm going to go into the doctor's office again for another blood test and possibly ultrasound to see if it's ectopic and if they can find it. I don't know much about ectopic pregnancies so i'm trying to be positive and hope that my hormone levels will have gone down drastically and he'll be able to diagnose it as a miscarriage.

We are pretty down about the whole thing. We were excited to be pregnant but also scared. This loss less than a year after losing Ellie is really hard. I feel like we've been kicked while we were down. We're pretty discouraged. It felt like such a blessing to be pregnant so soon after trying for only a few months. I felt peace and happiness about. It was wonderful to be able to tell my family on Easter. This sense of dread always hung over me but I always figured it was just nerves from losing Ellie. We will get by. We are doing what we did last time. We went and saw a movie and now Bobby is listening to music and i'm eating some Ben and Jerry's ice cream. Please keep us in your prayers. It's going to take some time for us to be ourselves again. Have patience with us.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Week 12

Well, I weighed in a little late. I got busy Easter Sunday and forgot. So, i'm weighing in on Tuesday. I think .6 loss is pretty good considering all the crap I ate this weekend. I let myself kind of indulge. I've got to run off to work this morning so i'll post later but I just wanted to include that update.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

10 pounds lost!!!

Woo hoo!! It seems like it's going so slow but I can't remember the last time i've actually lost 10 pounds. I am so proud of myself. It's cool to actually see results. I don't really see much result from week to week but when you add it up it does show progress. I know I still have a long way to go but it's a start and I feel like i'm learning a lot.
I did really well this week. I was a little slow starting working out but I eventually picked it up and worked hard. I look forward to the weather getting better so I can actually walk outside. It will be nice when Bobby and I can go on our walks again through the park. I really enjoyed those times. I do like the consistency of the elliptical though. I can set my time and keep my speed constant. I also like that I can listen to music and read my kindle. I've been going for 45 minutes a day, 5 days a week. I'm going to keep increasing so next week i'll go 50 minutes a day.
Not much has happened with the other part of this journey. We were talking the other day about when I should go to talk to my doctor about fertility. I think i'm going to wait until July when i'm do for my annual check up anyway. I'd like to go earlier but I heard a story about a woman who lost a baby and had to have a c-section too. She got pregnant again and her rainbow baby burrowed through her scar in her uterus and was growing in a bubble outside of her uterus. She had to have an emergency hysterectomy. That is like my worst nightmare. I really want to have a baby but I don't want to push it too soon. I want to lose more weight and I want to heal as much as possible.
I still have small hope that I will get pregnant on our own but not much. We are doing all we can but I'm sure it will take some outside help from a doctor. I'm thinking of going to get an ovulation prediction kit for next month. My period should start today or tomorrow so I guess i'd better go sometime to get it. We will see if that helps me see my ovulation. The temperature thing just isn't working out for me.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Rainbow Party

When I do get pregnant I want to have a rainbow party to celebrate my rainbow baby. I have no idea if this will work but here is a link to a board on pinterest i'm working on

fertility tracker

It's been a while since I've posted about the whole getting pregnant part of this plan. Right now i'm on day 23 of my cycle. My cycles are usually around 34 days so i've got another 10 or eleven days. I've been pretty good at tracking my temperatures this month but it's not very consistent so the fertility tracker i've been using hasn't detected any ovulation this month. I'm thinking about getting and ovulation kit for next month but i've never used on of those before. I would love some advice and experience from anyone who has done that. Is it worth the money?
We are still trying to do this on our own for a few more months. June is our date that we had originally planned on going to talk to the doctor. I had mentioned it to Bobby that I would like to do it earlier but he didn't really react so I don't think it's going to happen. I'd really like to lose that 20 pounds before I go though so I may even wait longer. I've got to really step up my game though. I don't' want to wait longer but I also would love to go to my doctor and show him that i've lost 20 pounds. I'm going to do it! And it's going to be before June! I was telling someone the other day though that i'm glad we had to wait 6 months before we could try because I think we would have rushed into it and it's been good to heal for a while. It's been good to move on. I never thought I would think that.

Week 9

Pretty pathetic, I know. I was pretty disappointed at first too because I had started working out again this week after taking a break because I was sick. Then I realized that I really ate whatever I wanted for my birthday. I didn't check my eating much at all. I have a lot of work to do on that front. It's stupid too because I've done the education part of it. I know what i'm supposed to be doing. I just don't. The working out part I have down. I love that. I feel so good about that. I'm working out 5 days a week for 45 minutes and i'm pushing myself a little harder every day.
So, my new resolve is to go back to posting every day about what I ate. It will be a great motivator for me. What I need though is someone who will get on my blog regularly and check up on me so that I know there is some accountability. If I know there will be someone on here checking up on me and what I am eating it will be a very good motivation for me.
As I go along I will try to share what i've learned about eating low carb. I'm going to continue to educate myself because there can be no harm in that. I also always welcome advice from those that have been successful with low carb diets.
Thanks for reading. I really appreciate those of you that have commented.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Week 8

Ugh, I was doing so well all week. I didn't work out because I still wasn't feeling well and it was parent teacher conference week but I was still down in weight all week. Then I totally blew it yesterday. My family was in town celebrating my birthday and I kinda just let myself eat whatever the heck I wanted to. I don't really feel too bad though because hey, it was my birthday. If I can't splurge then, then when can I? And, at least I didn't gain weight. Also, I woke up so late this morning and actually ate breakfast before I weighed in so that my have skewed my number.
Anyway, i'm going to move on and be so much better this week. I'm going to get back into my workout routine. It's going to be hard because i've missed two weeks but i'm going to spend this week getting myself back up to speed. I really have missed it a lot. I've still got a bit of a chesty cough but I think it's going to be good for me to get back into my routine. Overall I do feel healthier and I guess that's what is important. I don't feel like I get as winded as easy. I'm excited about that and i'm excited to keep getting healthier. I really hate being so fat. We went to the planetarium yesterday and the seats were a little uncomfortable because i'm so wide. When we go somewhere to eat and have to sit in a booth I hate that most of the time it's hard for me to squeeze in. There are many embarrassing moments like that i'm looking forward to being done with. I want my new life to start so I need to kick it up a notch. Look for big numbers to come in the following weeks!

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Week 7

Well, I'm very happy about the weight loss this week I just wish I could explain it. I guess I could attribute it to being sick. I haven't worked out all week and I haven't exactly eaten the healthiest. I mostly ate whatever sounded good. I have missed working out though. I'm hoping I get better soon so I can get back to working out.
Another period has passed too so i'm beginning another month of wishing, hoping, thinking, and praying. I think i'm going to go back to charting temperatures this month. I just feel like I need to do something else.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Week 6

Yay for weight loss! I am very happy with my 1.8 pounds down. This was a crazy stressful week and I did not eat very well at all. I did do great working out though. I've been slowly adding time every week to the length of my workouts. I'm up to 40 minutes a day on the elliptical. I go a little over 2.5 miles a day. I think i've finally hit my weight-loss zone. I feel good after my workouts but I also sweat a ton and am sore afterwards. I also really like reading while i'm on the elliptical. The time passes by so fast and I barely notice how long i'm going. The trick is having a good book to read.
I'm bummed now because i'm sick again. Grrr, I hate being sick. I'm not going to be able to work out for a couple of days at least. I hate having set backs like that. I guess it's better that I get healthy again and be sure to get back into it when i'm better.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

fertility tracker

I didn't know was going to want to start charging me for membership. Anybody know a free online fertility tracker tool I can use? Are there apps for that?

Week 5

Happy I  lost weight this week. 2 lbs., that's pretty good. I worked pretty hard this week. I got a little frustrated mid week because I didn't feel like I was getting any results and I felt like I was working pretty hard.
I think i've got the working out part figured out. I got up Monday morning to work out and it was so hard to get myself out of bed. I went to the gym and everything then quit after a mile. I was pretty discouraged. Tuesday morning I couldn't get myself up to work out. I realized Tuesday night that I am just not a morning person and it would be a battle every morning to get myself out of bed. So, I decided to start working out in the evening and see how that went.
I love it! It is so much easier. I go right as soon as I get home from work. I know if I put it off I will never get up off of the couch to actually go and do it. Sometimes it's a little tricky if I have something going on in the evening but I just need to make it a priority.
The eating thing i'm still working on. I have made major improvements but there is still work to be done. I didn't stick with my one soda a week rule but I did to much better. There were a couple days this week I didn't have any soda. For lunches i've been bringing salad but my problem with that is that the only salad dressing I like is Ranch and that is so fatty. I've tried other dressings but I just can't do it. I end up not eating the salad. So, I think that I am going to let myself splurge and have ranch dressing. I will keep to only a very little bit. I don't need to drench it, just add a little flavoring. I did that on Friday and I ate the whole salad. We are also going to have salad with dinner. I'm going to be very strict with the low carb this week. I keep slipping or making excuses. I gave most of my valentine's candy to bobby but I kept the chocolate and i've been eating that this week. I just need to throw it away.
Weekends are hard to eat healthy. I always do better when i'm at work. It's just so easy for me to keep going back to get food and we always end up going out to eat. I try to be healthy but I don't always succeed. I will do a little experiment. There is no work tomorrow so we will probably go out. I will challenge myself to see how healthy I can eat wherever we go out to eat. We always go on a date on Friday night. I think I will make that my splurge night and eat whatever I want for dinner. If I have that to look forward to then maybe it will be easier to eat healthy the rest of the week.

Thanks to all who follow and support me. Thank you for all of your supportive comments. Love you guys!

Thursday, February 16, 2012

I ran a mile!

I know to some it may not seem like that big of a deal but for me it's a momentous occasion. I can't remember the last time I RAN a mile. In fact, I don't know that i've ever run a mile. It wasn't a fast run. It took me about 14 1/2 minutes. Slow, I know, but considering my physique and the fact that i've only been working out for a few weeks now I think that's pretty good, and it will get better.
Usually my workouts are based on time. This week i've been doing 35 minutes, but tonight I didn't have that long so I decided to see how fast I could run a mile. I have found that working out after work is much better for me. I know, i've read about how beneficial it is to work out in the mornings but that's just not realistic for me. I am just not a morning person. It's is nearly impossible for me to get myself out of bed early to workout. It just doesn't happen. And, yes i'm usually tired when I get home from work but it's a lot easier for me to motivate myself to workout. Then I have all evening to relax, I can stay up late, and sleep in. it has been working out great since I switched to this plan. I will just have to make it I priority to fit into my schedule.

Sunday, February 12, 2012


I've been kind of frustrated with tracking my temperatures. I don't think I see consistent enough temperatures to notice if it does spike. I even bought the good thermometer so I could get the detailed readings. I think I might give up on it after this month. We will see what happens.
Bobby and I were talking about this last night. I know the best way to assure that we get pregnant is to try every day. I don't know, maybe some couples do that but we aren't that kind of couple. I don't really want to get into the details of how often it happens but I will just say it doesn't happen every day. Don't get me wrong, we enjoy doing it and really want to have another baby but we have a life. We have work and don't always feel like it every day. I think we will just stick to what we are doing now and hope for the best. It's more than that though. I was telling Bobby last night that we have to trust in our Heavenly Father. He has a plan for us and if the time is right he will make it happen. He pointed out that we know now at least that we are able to get pregnant. I also have more faith in our Heavenly Father and the miracles he can perform because Ellie's conception was a near miracle. I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I know exactly what day she was conceived because it only happened once that month. Which is evidence to me that miracles happen. Unfortunately I had given up on tracking days at that point so I have no idea what day in my cycle we got pregnant.
I don't want the process to become a chore. I want it to be fun and not scheduled. I am confident that as long as we put forth our best efforts and let our wishes be known to our Heavenly Father that in time we will get pregnant again. I just don't think tracking temperatures is helping out that process at all.

Week 4

I am really frustrated with the weight gain this week. It's not as if I didn't try. I've made lots of small changes. I guess it's time to make big changes. I can always improve I guess. I'm far from perfect. It's just frustrating. I wasn't expecting to lose tons of weight this week. It was my first week back to work and it was a little crazy, but I was hoping to not gain weight.
 I was reading a blog that someone had pinned on pinterest about a woman who had lost a lot of weight. I like how she said something to the effect of how it has to more important than anything. It's got o more important that I lose weight than it it that I have my caffeine, extra hour of sleep, or ice cream. It's got to be a part of my daily life always. No exceptions. I think that's my problem. I make way too many exceptions.
Okay, so changes this week. Need to drink more water. So, I know i've justified the soda but i'm going to go to one soda a week. If I have that soda Monday morning then no soda when we go out on the weekend. This week will be tough because i'm sure my students will give me candy for Valentine's day. I don't want to waste it all and throw it away but like my mom says "better to waste it than waist it". We ate out a few times this week. No more of that. We can go out on our Friday date night. That's it. I did pretty good with salads for lunch last weeks so i'm going to keep that up. I even don't mind the low fat vinaigrette dressing I used. I do need to work out more. I had a hard time making myself get out of bed this week and only worked out 3 times. I'm going to shoot for at least 4 next week. It has got to be more important.
I can go do this I have got to believe that. I'm not going to let the weight gain get me down. I'm still figuring this out and retraining myself.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Week 3

Well, I lost 2 pounds this week. Good I guess, especially considering the crappy week I had. I just want it to go faster but I suppose I should be happy with any loss. I want it to go faster because I decided I needed to lose 20 pounds before I could go to the doctor to talk to him about fertility. We had originally agreed we would try on our own until June then go and see him. To motivate myself however we agreed we could go earlier if I lost 20 pounds. I'm averaging about 3 pounds a weeks so at this rate i'd have lost 20 pounds by June. That does sound really cool but kind of cancels out my motivation of being able to go see the doctor before June. So, I need to step it up a notch. This week was pretty crappy and I know I wasn't perfect this week. Far from it. I can improve so I'm hoping to lose more this week.
Either way I guess I'm still losing weight. I think it will be good either way. Even if I do go to the doctor in June having lost 20 pounds that's still a good thing. Either way it will make it easier to get pregnant and will make for a healthier pregnancy.
I think I agree with Alison. I am going to focus more on eating low carb. I'm not going to go too crazy with the fat but i'm not going to stress about it as much. I'm terrified of getting diabetes and there is a history of it on both sides of my family. Eating low carb my last trimester seemed to work pretty well too. Going back to work will be easier because I will be able to control what food I have at work. The trick will be not eating too much at night after I get home. I seem to struggle with that. Large dinner and snacking throughout the evening.
I also know I need to drink more water. I know i've justified drinking soda but I think the worst part of it is that i'm drinking that instead of water. So, right now i'm going to limit myself to one soda a day. To some people that may seem like a lot but for me that will be an improvement. I'm also going to drink more water. The only problem with that is I don't like to drink too much while i'm at work because I don't really have a whole lot of restroom time at work. I'll have to drink more after work. Maybe that will help with cutting down the snacking in the evening.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

back on the wagon

Well, i'm not sick any more. I took a few days off with the stupid cold. I knew I couldn't work out but I could have eaten better. I let myself eat too much crap. But, i'm back to working out and trying to eat better. I'm still struggling with eating low carb and low fat. I can easily do one or the other but not both. Maybe it will just take some training or maybe I should just choose one or the other and see what works for me. I don't know maybe i'll try a couple of different things.
I'm a little worried about next week. I go back to work next week. It will be easier to control what I eat because I can control what I take to work and I won't be at home with tons of time to munch. The hard part will be finding the time and energy to work out. I've really enjoyed working out. I hope I can still make that a priority. I really like that i've started to add in some weight training. I love weight training and I want to keep doing that.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

week 2 done

Well, not as good as I would have liked but hey, i'll take a loss. I guess it is good considering i've been sick since Thursday and haven't worked out. I've even thrown the healthy eating out of the window and pretty much eaten whatever I want. But, no more. I may not work out if i'm still sick but I am going to start charting my food again.

So, my period was really short this month. It was only about 4 days instead of 8 like it was last month. I'm hoping that's because i've been working out and it will be like that from now on. I'm excited that it's over because now I can start getting whole month of fertility charting.

Thursday, January 26, 2012


Well, I made it 8 days in a row (not including Sunday). I think that's pretty good. I won't be working out today because i've got a stupid cold or flu. I was kinda achey last night today I just feel like crap. I knew it was coming so I took some Nyquil last night and slept like a rock.

My workout has gone pretty well this week. Tuesday was the first day that I actually felt sore after my workout. I don't know if it's all just building up and my body is finally making some changes or what. Yesterday was pretty good. I felt good increasing my pace so i'm almost up to my normal pace. I even ran for a minute in the middle. That felt pretty good. I really wish I could work out today. I really don't want this to set me back.

As far as the diet goes it's been going okay. I'm not having a hard time keeping it low carb. The hard part is keeping it low fat and low carb. I love putting my food into the chart on the website i'm using because it is so easy for me to see where I am going wrong. I'm making some changes and hopefully I will be able to keep my fat intake within range.

I'm not posting weigh-ins until Sunday but i've been cheating and checking it every day anyways. I don't want to spoil it but I have lost some weight this week and i'm really excited about it. I hope being sick doesn't throw all of that off.

No progress in the ttc. I'm having my period so as soon as that is over I will be able to hopefully get a whole month of temperatures in and see when I ovulate.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Well, not this month I guess. The good news is though that my cycle was only 34 days this month instead of 40 like last month. It means that I will be able to start charting a full month sooner and see when I actually ovulate. On to the next month.

more minutes!

Okay, adding 5 minutes to my workout was not nearly as hard as I thought it would be. I was really worried because at the end of last week going 20 minutes was still really hard and I took yesterday off. It was hard to get going this morning so I expected it to be impossible to add 5 minutes. But, I went for it and it wasn't as hard as I thought. I did go a little slower but I knew I would have to. I'm hoping to get back up to my normal pace by the end of the week.
I like I going to use that from now on to log my food and my workouts. I won't be posting my food on here anymore. I like because it tells me how many calories, carbs, fat, and protein I should take in daily and then how much i've consumed when I log in what i've eaten. I'll post my daily diary on Facebook every day and try to figure out how to link it to here.
Not much going on in the ttc department right now. I'm still charting temperatures. My period should start this weekend. I took a pt just in case last week and it was negative. I've kind of resigned myself that the fact that as long as i'm charting it's okay if this takes a few months.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Breakfast: It is so hard to do low-carb at breakfast. Most of the typical breakfast foods have tons of carbs. So, I end up eating a lot of eggs.
2 eggs
2 pieces of sausage
1 glass of milk

Snack 1:
string cheese
1/2 an avodado
1 can of Dr Pepper 10 (I know, caffeine and tons of other bad things for me. If things don't get better i'll cut that out too but for now it stays.)

2 hot dogs (I know, not that great but I was running late for church)
1 carrot with peanut butter

string cheese

Pot roast
1 small baked potato with too much sour cream
lima beans

½ cup ice cream (the lowest carb count I could find)

Okay, this helped. I totally wanted to eat more than this but knowing that I'm going to be posting this really curbed me. 

New Week

Okay, new week beginning and trying something new. I gained 1.2 pounds this week so I obviously need to make some changes.
First, I am going to take Brittany's advice and only weigh in once a week. I used to do this but I got a little obsessed this week. I think i'll make Sundays my weigh-in day.
Also, i'm going to take Jennie's advice and start writing down everything I read. I will post at the end of the day what I ate that day. When I had gestational diabetes I met with a dietician. She advised me to eat every 2-2 1/2 hours. So, I will include 3 meals and two snacks. I already know I need to eat more vegetables, so I am going to work on that for sure this week. I am also going to make an effort to not eat out as much and if I do I will make much healthier choices.
I hope this will help. I guess we will see next Sunday!

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Saturday workout

Wow, I actually worked out on a Saturday. So proud of myself. That is five days in a row. It was kind of hard today. I'm not sure why but it was killer to go the same amount of time that i've been doing all week. I'm really looking forward to a day of rest tomorrow. If the weather's nice I might get Bobby to go on a walk with me in the evening. Nothing to hard though.
I do okay, not great with my eating but the worst is the eating out. We eat out way too much and I make very little effort to eat healthy when we do eat out. The only major change I have made is to always get diet soda. I know I should cut soda out completely but that's not happening right now so I figured this was a good compromise.
I make many excuses. We are busy. We both work full time so we don't really have time to cook. It just seems easier to go out. Then when we are there it's just too hard to eat healthy and so I don't. Okay, here's my commitment to do better. I'm off-track right now so it's easy for me to cook. We go out every Friday so I will just have to promise to eat healthier.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Beginning to change my habits

I know the key to losing weight is changing my lifestyle. I don't want to just be on a diet. I want to be a healthier person. I want to eat healthy and be active.
When I was preggo with Ellie I had gestational diabetes and had to eat a low carb diet. After I gave birth I was 10 pounds lighter than my pre-pregnancy weight. I have recently gained all that back plus more. My theory is thought, that with all the diabetes and pre-diabetes in my family that is something I should watch. So, i'm not going completely carb free but I am doing low carb. When I was pregnant I had amazing willpower because I knew it was best for the baby. I wish I could do that again. I slip up more often than I would like. No, not slip up. Make exceptions. Too many exceptions.
I've gone to the gym now four days in a row. I am so proud of myself. I really like the elliptical machine. The only problem is the first day, my weight stayed the same, the next day I gained a pound, and today I had gained .4 of a pound. Pretty discouraging.
I'm off of work right now so i'm still not as active as I usually am. I need to do more cleaning around the house and keeping myself moving. I'm also expecting my period soon which tends to bloat me up, and if i'm honest with myself I really haven't been eating as healthy as I should.
I'm not going to let the weight gain get me down. I'm going to use it as incentive to get better.

Starting TTC

We were given the go ahead in December to start trying to conceive again. Even with the all clear it was a hard decisions. It had only been 6 months since our loss. We decided with our doctor to try on our own for six months before we came to him to talk about our fertility options.
When we were trying before we really didn't do much in fertility charting. I decided to change that this time. I still want to make the process as fun and unscheduled as possible but I also really want to get pregnant really fast. So, we are trying a lot more than we ever have and I am charting my fertility at I bought a bbt (basal body temperature) thermometer and I started taking my temperature this morning. 
My cycles aren't really irregular they are just really long. Before Ellie they were about 35 days. Now, the are about 40. I've heard that the reason for the long cycles could be my weight. I'm not really complaining about long cycles because it means fewer periods but I would much prefer things to be normal so I could get pregnant.
As far as we and the doctors can tell there is nothing wrong with me or Bobby that would prevent us from getting pregnant. Other than, i'm pretty sure my weight has something to do with it. 
I'm hoping that charting will help. I want to be able to see if/when I am ovulating. I love the website. It teaches me these lessons about fertility as I go along. We, and many people who love us, hoped that we would be able to get pregnant right away. And, I have to admit I was pretty disappointed that we didn't get pregnant the first month we tried. Realistically I knew it wasn't going to be easy. It will take some time. And, maybe that's a good thing. The more we can heal emotionally and the more I can heal physically (I had a c-section) the better. I guess. I just don't want to wait another 5 years.